Reflections

Today is my day of reflecting on things in life. This morning as I was catching up on blogs that I follow (yes I guess I am a blog stalker) I was reflecting on how lucky I am to have 4 girls who are happy (for the most part) , healthy and have their whole lives ahead of them. I ache for the bloggers who have lost a child or a family member. I know how they feel, for I too feel the same pain. I remember how lost I felt when my oldest daughter passed away, the hurt was so deep and a part of me died the same day. But I also know as will they that with time the hurt eases and it becomes more bearable and not so consuming. I have also lost a sister that was very close to me and I am still trying to accept the fact that some one who had such a good heart could pass so quickly.

Then as the day went on and I was at work and dealing with co-workers and customers and bosses. I was grateful that I am able to provide for my family. Even though it is difficult some days to drag myself to work in the end it is worth it knowing that I can provide a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. I wish that I could impress upon them how important it is to take care of the ones that you love. But I know that one day they will be doing the same things for their families and they will understand.

As I come home and get ready for the evening, I am amazed at how much more I should have taught my children when they were younger. I worry that they will not be able to take care of themselves. And I think that is why I have always done their laundry and made sure that they had dinner. I wanted them to be kids and not have to do chores when they could be out playing with their friends. Looking back I realize that it would have been far better if I had been the "mean Mom" and taught them how to cook and clean and do their laundry when they were younger. Now I have an 18 yr old that should be getting ready to be on her own and I am still doing her laundry and she is still letting me.

So in reflection, if I could do it all over again, would I change anything? You bet I would. Not everything just the little things, like learning to bake and the satisfaction of having been able to make a meal that was edible. But knowing what I know now, I would treat each day as if it were the most important day of our lives. Because it is!!!!!!!!