So Beautiful

Okay, I want to start this post with a disclaimer. To all my friends that know me and know that I am not religious at all please keep in mind that nothing has changed. I still believe in God just not religion. On that same note, some things are just too beautiful to keep to yourself regardless of how it is interpreted.

Last night I had the pleasure of going with my sister-in-law Annette and her family to see the new LDS temple. I have to say that I was blown away by the beauty. The pictures on the walls, the furniture and the chandeliers, even the windows and the mirrors. It was truly one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen.

I went because I have always been curious as to what the temples looked like inside and because of the way that I believe I knew that this would be one chance that I would get to see it. I am not sorry that I went in fact I am so very happy that I went. I would encourage any one to seize the opportunity to take a tour of a temple if you are able to.

My favorite room is called the Celestial Room. Even if you know nothing about the LDS religion, when approaching this room you feel a inner peace. I don't really know how to describe it but you just have this calm feeling that comes over you and when you walk into the room itself you are overwhelmed by the beauty. I guess I would describe it as heaven on earth.

I don't know how to explain this next part without sounding like I may be a little off my rocker to some of you, but here goes. I felt my daughter was with me last night. As I sat in the sealing room I could feel her with me. As I walked past the brides room where the bride changes her clothes and can fix her hair and make-up, I felt her with me and as I walked out of the doors onto the grounds where pictures can be taken and family members are waiting for the bride and groom I felt her with me. And I cried because I miss her.

Something weird about me

Okay, I have decided that I am going to share something about me that most people would consider a little on the bizarre side. I have a fascination with cemeteries. This is not something new that started when I became an adult, I have always found cemeteries fascinating. I can walk through a cemetery in any town for hours and look at the headstones on graves and wonder what the circumstances were behind the persons death. Today was such a day were I found myself wandering around our local cemetary. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me.

Reflections

Today is my day of reflecting on things in life. This morning as I was catching up on blogs that I follow (yes I guess I am a blog stalker) I was reflecting on how lucky I am to have 4 girls who are happy (for the most part) , healthy and have their whole lives ahead of them. I ache for the bloggers who have lost a child or a family member. I know how they feel, for I too feel the same pain. I remember how lost I felt when my oldest daughter passed away, the hurt was so deep and a part of me died the same day. But I also know as will they that with time the hurt eases and it becomes more bearable and not so consuming. I have also lost a sister that was very close to me and I am still trying to accept the fact that some one who had such a good heart could pass so quickly.

Then as the day went on and I was at work and dealing with co-workers and customers and bosses. I was grateful that I am able to provide for my family. Even though it is difficult some days to drag myself to work in the end it is worth it knowing that I can provide a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. I wish that I could impress upon them how important it is to take care of the ones that you love. But I know that one day they will be doing the same things for their families and they will understand.

As I come home and get ready for the evening, I am amazed at how much more I should have taught my children when they were younger. I worry that they will not be able to take care of themselves. And I think that is why I have always done their laundry and made sure that they had dinner. I wanted them to be kids and not have to do chores when they could be out playing with their friends. Looking back I realize that it would have been far better if I had been the "mean Mom" and taught them how to cook and clean and do their laundry when they were younger. Now I have an 18 yr old that should be getting ready to be on her own and I am still doing her laundry and she is still letting me.

So in reflection, if I could do it all over again, would I change anything? You bet I would. Not everything just the little things, like learning to bake and the satisfaction of having been able to make a meal that was edible. But knowing what I know now, I would treat each day as if it were the most important day of our lives. Because it is!!!!!!!!

.....Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same......

I would like to share with all my favorite author. Let me just start by saying that I love to read and I have a lot of authors that I would recommend people read, but I have one author that I hold dear. His name is Richard Paul Evans, and he lives in right here in Utah. He started by writing a book for his daughters and when he couldn't get anyone to publish his book he did it himself. Not because he was so sure that it was that good but because everyone that read the story told him that it was that good. Just goes to show you that there is probably alot of talented people out there but they give up because no one has faith in them.

Anyway, he writes adult fiction as well as childrens books and even has written a self help book. Recently, I was catching up on my email and I had one from him. There is a link there to his books so I decided to check it out. I have all of the adult books ( 2 copies of some of them) but I have always wanted this particular childrens book titled The Dance, but I could never find it in any of the stores and I found it once on Amazon but it was used. So long story short, I ordered it and I got it in the mail yesterday. I plan on reading this book to my granddaughter over and over again. But it made me cry, I miss my kids being young and sweet. I don't know about this teenager thing. You would think that after this long I would be used to it but it seems like each one of my child poses their own set of rules when they become a teenager. If I manage to remain sane after all this it will truly be a miracle.

So, if you are looking for a good book to read that has a truly special meaning behind it, check out his latest book Grace. It is a tear jerker but is about a cause that he cares very deeply about. And on that note, I will sign off for it is time for me to hit the old bed for tomorrow is Friday and hopefully the start of a great weekend. Ciao!!!!!

The day finally arrived. Yesterday morning after much waiting, I finally got my teeth. I know that sounds strange, but I have waited so long for this. I cried, thanked the dentist over and over again and then rushed home to show everyone. I even drove to West Jordan to show Annette. Now that the intial shock is over, I feel like it is no big deal. But really it is a big deal. I have always had problems with my teeth and haven't had a full set for about 20 years. SO, now on to bigger and better things. I want to have my picture taken with my girls. I think that I may try to get my niece, Melissa to take some pictures for us. She took Summer's wedding pictures and did an awesome job. I will post pictures when I get some taken.

I went to see my Mom yesterday as well. She has Alzheimers and is in a care facility. It is depressing to go there and see the people who have no idea why they are there and sometimes who they are. Yesterday was a good day for her. She actually knew who we were. It was sad because she kept telling us that she couldn't fly because she didn't have her wings. We would ask her why she wanted to fly and she said "because it would be fun". I hate to read more into this than there is but I think that she was trying to tell us that she wants to go to heaven. This has been a dream of hers since my Dad died. I wish that she could be at peace.

Well, on to the second day of the weekend. I really need to get busy. There is laundry to do and dishes to be washed and another workweek to get ready for. So until next time. Ciao!!!!!!

Oh what a week. I am so glad that it is over. First I had inventory at work and it took all week which was a total pain, the bright side was that I got to see my sister-in-law Annette every day and we got to go to lunch together. It is nice having her work at the same company I do. I finally feel like I have some one there that understands what I am trying to say. I feel like we can be each others support line.

On a more unhappy note, it appears that my younger brother has had a stroke. This is not the first time he has had one and it probably won't be the last. He doesn't take care of himself and for that I am sad. I wish that I could do more to help him, but he is stubborn and won't listen to what anyone has to say (especially a woman). I have been worried about him since my sister died because she was the one that was trying to get him to the doctor and get him the medicine that he needs. I am not able to do this and for that I feel like I am letting him down.

Anyway. we went over to the house last night because he has been taking care of Summer's cat for us, but with him not there I felt like we were going to have to make some changes with that situation. So I relented and let her bring her cat here. It isn't that I don't like cats it is that I already have two of my own plus a dog and I am not a huge pet person. I thought that was "big" of me to let the kids have that many pets. But alas, the poor creature couldn't be there alone. So now we have a new pet until we can find him a home. SO here is my plea, anybody want a cat. He is neutered, litterbox trained and is about 2 years old. He is a little freaked out about people that he doesn't know though so he hides.

But on the most positive of notes it is Friday and the weekend is here. I love the weekends.

I was thinking that I should try to blog on the same day as events happen in my household but who am I kidding. I am not that organized.

Yesterday we celebrated Katelyn's birthday as a family. We have a tradition that when we celebrate some one's birthday they get to pick what we eat for dinner that night. Katelyn chose pulled pork sandwiches with potato salad and corn, it was so good.

Katelyn decided that for her birthday she wanted clothes for the summer so we went shopping. I don't even try to pick out my kids clothes anymore it is way to difficult and some one usually ends up crying (me) because I don't have the same taste in clothes as they do and they hate what I bought.

She also picked out her own birthday cake. At our house it is all about the chocolate, so needless to say her cake was chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. It was good but I think that I have had my chocolate fix for awhile.

All in all it was a nice relaxing day and a good day to end the weekend. Back to work on Monday, the silver lining is I don't have to get kids up and take them to school.

Yeah, Saturday is finally here, my favorite day of the week. I am so glad that school is out for the summer. It is nice to only have to get myself up in the mornings. No fighting with kids because they stayed up to late and now don't want to get up. No fighting with kids to get out the door on time. I have the mornings to myself and it is heaven.

On Tuesday, I meet my best friend from childhood for dinner at Z Tejas (amazing food, I could eat there every night). She lives in Okinawa with her darling husband and they are here visiting because they have 2 granddaughters graduating from high school. We haven't seen each other since 1988. We had a great time and it was so nice catching up on what is going on with families. I could have talked to her all night.

Wednesday was high school graduation. Alex graduated and is now officially done with school. That is until she decides what she is going to do for the rest of her life. She wants to have her own preschool. I think that is an awesome goal and she is so good with kids. The graduation was okay, but I was very disappointed that it wasn't organized better and that we had to drive to Salt Lake. But it was very exciting to see her graduate and I am so proud of her. After the ceremony we went to dinner and of course she wanted to go to the Spaghetti Factory. (her second favorite restaurant). When we got to the restaurant they weren't very busy so we figured that we would be seated pretty quick and be headed home before to long but alas this was not to be. About 5 minutes after we got there. The whole place started filling up with people. Of course we recognized them as or fellow Tooeleans. Needless to say the Spaghetti Factory that closes at 9:30 on week nights was still hopping at 10:00. But the staff was great and they were very accommodating to every one. One advantage to going right before they close it that you get hot fresh loaves of bread.

Friday was Katelyn's birthday I can't believe that she is 15. She decided that she was going to spend her birthday at the PRCA rodeo with her friends and we will celebrate as a family on Sunday. I don't think that I am ready for this. My kids are growing up way to fast and before you know it they are going to be out in the world without me to protect them.

That brings us to today. I would like to just relax and veg and not do anything but watch movies but I need to get busy. I have to get the tire fixed( to flat to drive on) take Alex to work, find softball uniforms and go to softball games. Pick Alex up from work and sometime figure out when I can go grocery shopping. Anyway that is it for now. I have to try to figure out how to upload pictures so that I can post them to my blog.

Okay, here goes. This is a family blog and I have never done anything like this before so bear with me. I am learning.

I am Cynthia the Mom of the family. I always say that I am so lucky because I have 5 beautiful angels. Now our family is growing and the number of angels has increased. I am so lucky. I would like to write a little about each one.

Stefanie- She is my first born and my heavenly angel. She earned her wings May 22, 2004. I was so lucky to have her for the short time that she was here and now I am lucky to have her in Heaven looking out for us.

Summer- She is my second child and will be a mother in October. She is going to have a little girl and I am very excited. I have to confess that I wanted a grandson but I have thrilled to be having a granddaughter as well.

Alexandria (Alex) - She is my middle child and definitely my biggest challenge. She is graduating from high school tomorrow. Yeah, I never thought that day would come. She has her whole life a head of her and I can only hope that she makes good choices.

Katelyn- She is child number 4 and definitely the most emotional of all my children. She is the protector of her sister and acts like a mother bear whenever she feels that some one is going to hurt any of her sisters. She also is the one that gives them most grief.

Jessica- My baby number 5. She is very social and completely boy crazy right now. She wants to be grown up like her sister Alex but she gets very upset when you tell her that she acts like her. She is tender-hearted and cares about everyone's feelings even though she tries to hide by acting tough.

Now for the extended family.

Steven- Married to Summer and I love him as much as my children that I gave birth to. He is a really good guy and I am so happy that Summer has him in her life.

Alexis (Lexi)- My stepgranddaughter, she lives with her Mom and I haven't had a chance to get to know her yet, but we are working on changing that. I am very excited to have another grandchild in my life.

Danny- He was married to Stefanie. He will always be a part of our family. He is remarried now to Lissa and they live in Arizona with my two "grandsons".

Camden- This little guy is so dang cute I could just eat him up. He looks just like his Dad(Danny). Really a handful and definitely gives his parents their share of trials.

Jace-Danny and Lissa's second son. Just the opposite of Camden (for right now anyway). He is equally as cute as his brother and I do believe that he looks more like his Mom (Lissa). He is almost 2 months old so it will be interesting to see his little personality emerge.

And last but not least Jeff- We have been together for 18 years. He is the chef in our family. He loves to cook.

So that about sums up my family. I am looking forward to blogging I just hope that I can be as good and some of the other bloggers that I follow.